Hey TOBTC,

 I fully understand the sentiment of your inquiry. “Intimate events” are certainly a part of the dating process, but as I’ve mentioned previously, they’re usually not the most important part. I try my very best to convey any feelings necessary to fully understand the date in the post you read. I can safely say that I have not fallen in love, been slapped across the face, or come to some kind of incredible epiphany after the ellipses. The most significant events, discussions, and emotions have occurred well before the end of the night, or on entirely different days.

The decision not to write about this aspect of dating was an obvious one. I never even considered writing about it, for the same reason that I don’t write about any personal details of my dates without their expressed consent. I think it violates a certain unspoken agreement I have with all women I’ve ever been intimate with, which is that I won’t discuss those details with anyone, not even my friends. Of course, when my friends have asked if something happened with so and so, I’ll tell them yes or no, but I leave it at that. It’s never been something I feel I have the right to talk about with anyone other than the person who was there with me.

Even more to the point, sex simply isn’t the focus of this project. I’m doing this to write about dating and the effect it has on me throughout the process. The current culture of my general demographic already has a bounty of stories about sex and hooking up. Our media is filled with sex, love, and heartache, but rarely do we see stories of what happens when two people just decide to spend some time together. My dates vary between carefree and emotionally loaded. More often than not, they’re somewhere in the middle. These are just human interactions with the added flavors of flirtation, romance, and adventure.

Thanks for your question. I hope this helped.

Evan